I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
