My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
