normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Randomize
