can u get pink eye on your cock?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
