Have you finally orgasmed yet?
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Randomize
