And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
