Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
