Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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