She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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