fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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