Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize