pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
