What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Four minutes until I can fart!
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I'm at about main and main street
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Randomize