I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I cockslap morals
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
