i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
