The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
