i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
