K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
