you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
whose ass print is on the piano?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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