And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
