if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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