you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
