Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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