What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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