Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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