Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
