i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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