he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
