Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
