At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
