dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
