areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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