party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I said "one day" and that day is not today
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize