there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
