I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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