New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
