He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
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