hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
