She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
