i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
