After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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