Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
