I just pynch a tree in the face
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
