I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
