its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize