Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
my vag is so smooth its legendary
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
