well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
