Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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