I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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