i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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