Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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