well you can't waste a boner
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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