Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
