Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
