Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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