it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
