Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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