Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
