I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
